“Decide!” my favorite line from Troy, a movie inspired by The Iliad that tells the story of the Trojan War. Here’s the short version. Troy and Sparta are about to go to war after Paris, a Prince of Troy, seduces the Spartan King’s wife, Helen. Achilles, a Spartan assassin, confronts Paris, demanding he return Helen or take responsibility and fight. Paris likes Helen, just not enough to risk much for her and he’s terrified…he’s not trying to die. While Paris tries to find a way to slink out of his mess, Achilles cuts to the chase with a single word. DECIDE!!!
What does Achilles have to do with me?
What does this ancient Greek Epic have to do with your marriage? Everything. Your marriage faces battles every day that require you to decide. Do you love it? Will you defend it? Will you sacrifice for it? If your answer is anything other than a resounding yes, your marriage is headed for trouble.
Many Marriages CAN turn around but won’t…
Many marriages CAN become wonderful but never will because too many couples are sitting on the fence. Like Paris, they want safety, comfort, options and great sex without putting much skin in the game. The irony is that “playing it safe” is never safe. It always leads to an unsatisfying, lackluster marriage that lacks the ability to inspire confidence. Think about it, if you’re Helen watching your man turn weak when challenged to take a stand for you; you’re having serious doubts….you’re going to hold back…dude isn’t looking so sexy anymore. You know you’ve made a BIG mistake.
The Power is in the Decision.
Deciding to turn your “meh” marriage into something spectacular is enough to start. You’re probably thinking this is a bold statement from someone who doesn’t know your situation. I know this for sure… All marriages begin and end with a decision. The decision to make your marriage amazing and do whatever that requires changes EVERYTHING. Better yet, one person’s choice CAN be the beginning. There is power in your decision.
Deciding is the Hardest Part
Ironically, marriage gets easier after you’ve decided. A decision to love unconditionally requires vulnerability…What if she doesn’t love me back? What if he takes advantage? What if she leaves anyway? What if he NEVER gets another job? Put those questions on pause for a minute, they really don’t matter at this stage. Just decide to make it work or not. It’s not only the hardest part of making your marriage great, it’s the biggest, most significant step.
Make a Choice
If the risks aren’t worth it, cut your loses, find another partner and another blog. Somebody out there has insight to help you heal. If you chose your marriage, welcome to the Marriage, Kids, Money & MeTime family. We’ve got lots to share.
Paul and I discovered four key components to our marriage success, be sure to read the posts on Perspective, Forgiveness and Renewal.
Check out Sofa Talk, Episode ____ to hear how a decision took our marriage from the brink of divorce to “so happy together” in a matter of weeks.